Wakka's Magic Kettle
by VKT
Summary: Total crack. Not serious in any way. One day, the mighty Sephiroth finds himself in the house of an extremely annoying ginger Jamaican who posses a magical kettle... Really an FF Xover but I thought I should put it here


**WAKKA'S MAGIC KETTLE**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy. I wish I did, but I don't TT.TT_

_Okay, so I wrote this about 4 years ago now, wayyy back when I was like 11 years old. I can't remember where I got the idea from but I found it while I was cleaning out my external hard drive and it made me laugh so I thought I'd share it with you all._

_--- _

Sephiroth: (Teleports into Wakka's house) What the- where am I?

Wakka: Who are you ya?

Sephiroth: I am the great Sephiroth.

Wakka: Well that's news to me ya?

(A baby starts crying)

Wakka: Hey Vidina woke up a little early ya?

Sephiroth: Vidina?

Wakka: My son ya?

Sephiroth: Could you PLEASE stop saying ya all the time?

Wakka: Cant ya?

Lulu: (Walks in house) Oh no, Wakka got a friend, and his hair is weirder than Seymour's! WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?!?

Seymour: Hey, I resent that.

Sephiroth: Yeah, me too.

Lulu: Seymour, you're dead sweetie.

Seymour: Oh yeah… back to the Farplane then! Byie!!!

Wakka: BYIE YA!!! (Waves)

Lulu: Hasn't Vidina woken up yet?

Wakka: Oh yeah ya? (Opens the kettle and takes out a baby)

Sephiroth: You keep your baby in a kettle?

Lulu: Of course, everything exciting happens in Wakka's kettle

Wakka: When I was off fighting Sin, the kettle was on the whole time ya?

Sephiroth: Right…

Yuna: (Skips in) Hello chums! What's happening today?

Tidus: (Pokes head out of Wakka's kettle) BLITZBALL PRACTICE!

Lulu: I told you everything exciting happens in Wakka's kettle.

Sephiroth: This is just too weird for me to handle. I'd take the fucking talking cat doll over this any day.

Paine: (Also pokes head out of Wakka's kettle) OH YA BIG NOOJ! (Points at Sephiroth)

Sephiroth: How many people are in that kettle?

Wakka: Well, there where six, including Vidina ya?

Lulu: Who's in there?

Yuna: Can we play charades to guess?

Wakka: No ya? Paine, Tidus, Baralai, Rikku and Gippal ya?

Tidus: Hey, I think LeBlanc is in here too!

Rikku: and Logos and Ormi!

Paine: Yes, it's a good life down here in Kettles Ville (Mouths) _get me out of here._

Baralai: Hey! I know where Letty's been for the past week!

Letty: Hello.

Yuna: We thought you drowned at sea

Letty: No, I've been in Wakka's kettle the whole time!

Yuna: YAY! This calls for a celebration! Get the whole town together! For tonight we shall PARTY!!! (Runs out screaming)

Paine: (Gets out of kettle followed by Baralai, Tidus, LeBlanc, Logos, Ormi, Rikku and Gippal) We aren't actually gonna go to this party, remember Yuna's last party?

Gippal: All to well…

Rikku: It's flash back time!

Gippal: YAR!

Baralai: Just because you have an eye patch, it doesn't mean you're a pirate

Rikku: Where's the flash back?

Paine: It's there! (Grabs the flash back)

(Flash back)

_Yuna: PARTY PARTY PARTY!!!_

_Nooj: H__ey! A casino in Bevelle! I never would have guessed!_

_(Walks into casino)_

_Paine: H__e does know he hasn't got any money right?_

_Rikku: What could happen?_

_(A cloud of purple dust is seen)_

_Paine: U__m, that?_

_Yuna: PARTY PARTY PARTYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!_

_(A man walks out of the casino holding a Hamster)_

_Man: A__nd stay out! Those who haven't got any money have to gamble their human existence and you lost! (Throws the hamster)_

_Hamster: (with Nooj's voice) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!_

_Baralai: I 'm assuming that's Nooj._

(End flash back)

Sephiroth: Um…

Rikku: And that's why we aren't going to Yuna's party!

Gippal: YAR!

Baralai: Shut up

Gippal: Yar…  (looks hurt)

Lulu: Because Nooj was turned into a hamster out of his own idioticy?

Logos: I don't think idioticy is a real word, right Ormi?

Ormi: (is staring at Lulu's chest) Wha-?

Lulu: Insolent swine! (Casts Firaga on Ormi)

Ormi: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! MY ARSE IS ON FIRE!!!

Rikku: (Starts singing) hey Mr Tambourine man…

Sephiroth: What's going on?

Baralai: No one ever knows…

Wakka: Ooh, the water boiled ya? (Pours hot water out of kettle into a cup)

Lulu: I told you everything exciting happened in Wakka's kettle

Sephiroth: …Screw this; I'm going back to Midgar.


End file.
